How to Fend Off A Tiger Attack

tiger attacking man

Think fast.  You’re standing on a grassy knoll, while vacationing in Kenya, and a 700 pound Siberian Tiger emerges from the nearby woods and is charging you at full speed.  What do you do?

There’s no need to panic (although you are no less of a man if you do).  By duplicating the successfully proven method below, you too can emerge victorious (we wouldn’t dare say “unscathed”) from the grasp of nature’s most skilled predator.

While not tested, we suspect this method would work equally well on an attacking lion, leopard, cheetah, panther or any large looking cat charging you with purposeful intent.

The Background Story
In 2005, A 73-year old Kenya man made headlines while using this method to rip the tongue from an attacking leopard, killing the animal with only his bare hands.

Step 1

attacking tigerWe recommend charging the tiger full on.  We give you three reasons. Firstly, there’s a very good chance that this is the last great “hurrah” for you.  If this is the end, don’t you want to die like a man?  

Next, charging a tiger will increase adrenaline that you will undoubtedly need when fighting the animal in hand to hand combat.

Lastly, a tiger that weighs 3-4X the weight of it’s potential next meal is never expecting it’s prey (you) to charge back. That extra second of confusion might be just what you need to win the battle!

Step 2

Commit to the fight. Expect to get a few bumps and bruises in this skirmish. You are, after all, fighting a very skilled killing machine. Don’t be a like a boxer, circling the ring, afraid of his opponent. Go forward and get your licks in.

Step 3

Wait for the tiger to open his mouth. In his attempt to eat you, he reveals his greatest weakness… his tongue. This is the most difficult part of your task but remember, it’s been done before and what one man can do, so can another! Rip the fleshy organ from his mouth with your bare hands and emerge the victor!

After the Fight

Tend to your wounds and don’t be afraid to take a few extra days off work and away from the gym. You’re likely to be receive a fair amount of notoriety during this time. Don’t get too caught up in that. You’re a man. Killing a tiger with your bare hands kind of comes with the territory.

We do encourage you to get that tiger stuffed and mounted. Real men keep trophies. It’s an easy way to say a lot without saying much at all.

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  • Steve

    “Firstly, there’s a very good chance that this is the last great “hurrah” for you” – Best line ever.
    Great article but something tells me I’d still try running first.

  • Christian

    I spend more time in the ocean. Anything on fighting electric eels or bull sharks would be appreciated.

  • Adam

    Don’t try this if you’re face to face with a tiger. You’ll 100% die, they’ve been on Earth for two million years, not one account of a unarmed man killing a tiger with his bare hands have happened.

    Tigers are 30% stronger than lions in multiple joints, 58.8% of a tiger’s body is muscle and while you might think a bear is stronger only 20.5% of their body is muscle. So there’s no way in hell you’ll get that off you.

    This website is trolling, pulling the tongue? is that the best you could think of. A tiger will clamp his jaws down right away if you put your hand anywhere near its mouth, you wouldn’t be able to grip it anyway. They have a bone crushing bite.

    Clyde Beatty stated his Sumatran tiger called Chester defeated seven lions at once. And he also left battle against ten lions without taking injury. Sumatran tigers are the smallest and probably the weakest sub-species. Vladimir Markov, a poacher released 24 trained hunting guard dogs on one Siberian tiger and it killed evey single one of them.

    I don’t think a man equals ten lions! if a tiger is face to face with you, back away slowly, they will never charge at you. The reason you should never turn your back is because they are stealth killers, people in India wear masks on the back of their heads to confuse the tiger. A tiger doesn’t need to charge, it can kill you any second it wants.

    • Dan

      Uh.. I’m not trying to speak on behalf of the writer, but it seems pretty clear and obvious that this whole article was written tongue in cheek. “Trolling for comments”? Seriously? How do you not pick up on the tone of the article? But even funnier.. if they were trolling, it obviously worked on you. You felt the need to defend with statistics and everything.
      And on top of all of that, it appears you’re wrong. Here’s a guy who ripped a leopard’s tongue out.

      Get a clue there, smart guy.

      • Henry Jackson

        A leopard is far far far far far weaker than a Tiger.

    • Samantha Derrick

      Oh pls ! Lions are kings of the jungle!!!! Not tigers

  • Héctor Muñoz Huerta

    Punching the nose or the eyes maybe?

  • David Bowen

    Siberian Tiger in Kenya….lol

  • Greg Hutson

    Siberian tigers tend to come from Siberia, which is on a completely different continent to Africa, which is not home to tigers. Get your facts straight.

  • Kropfnbäck

    *How to die as a complete jackass
    Fighting the tiger should be your last option, first you should try to scare it away by making as lot noise as possible while facing it

    • Maurice A Tillman

      Actually, loud noises annoy them. It’ll just piss them off.

  • george

    How to fend off a tiger attack.
    Simple.. You Can’t

  • Tarun Ramakrishna

    Charging a tiger/tigress if he/she has initiated a charge towards you is not such a bad idea. Big cats tend to abort their charge in surprise when their prey charges them. The worst thing you can do is turn and run – if you do so you have DEFINED yourself as DINNER and the best you can hope for is that the tiger kills you quickly instead of eating you alive which is nothing short of extremely painful torture. However, tigers tend to be better than lions here. Tigers/leopards are generally solitary hunters who make a best attempt to kill their prey before moving them elsewhere and eating them. Lions in prides are horribly messy eaters where the prey can be alive and crying for hours while its body parts are being hungrily devoured.

    To be honest, I don’t see an unarmed human surviving this battle. You need at-least a knife with you to go for the eyes and nose and get some good shots in before you too badly mauled to continue the fight in any effective manner. Protect your neck and spinal cord – big cats instinctively go for them. This is why you should never show your back to them. One thing the writer has got right is that you cannot fight passively. You have to fight like an angry honey badger. Big cats don’t like getting injured and unless they are really angry, will back-off if the reward doesn’t seem to match the cost.

    I really don’t get how you can go for a tigers tongue without losing your hands.

    • Adi

      Do honey badgers even get angry? I thought honey badgers don’t give a shit. ;)

  • Adi

    Well, since you’ve taken some flak for the Siberian tiger in Kenya, which I presume was intended as a joke, here’s one fact you really do need to get straight: “panther” doesn’t denote any specific type of cat. In fact, “panther or any large looking cat” is redundant, because “any large looking cat” is practically a working definition for “panther”.