Kicking an alligator’s ass is no easy task. We’ve previously covered the art of fighting a tiger but an alligator, or even a crocodile, brings with it all new challenges.
To give alligators their just due, they don’t typically attack humans unless provoked. But being incredibly hungry can make any mammal a bit more aggresive than usual. Fighting an animal that has an average of 80 teeth and a vice-like jaw can make for a challenging afternoon activity.
If you find yourself taking a friendly stroll through a swampy marsh, you should first remember to keep your arms in and close to your body. Swinging appendages encourage an alligator strike and even small alligators will sometimes take a shot at a slow-swinging arm.
If you do suddenly find yourself the victim of a striking alligator, you’ve got one real shot at survival. You have to go for the eyes. This is tricky because an alligator will typically spin you in an attempt to rip an appendage from your body.
Don’t fight the spin. Roll with it and lock all the free arms and legs around the croc. While taking the ride of your life, use your free hand to shove your thumb as deeply in the eye sockets as humanly possible.
This is the only perceived threat you can impose on an attacking alligator (unless you have a large shank in hand) and performed properly, it’s enough to make an alligator release his grip and scamper away.
You’ve only got one shot at an alligator attack so make the most of it. Worst-case scenario though.. at least your friends will always remember the guy who went out like a man.